Today’s post comes about as a result of a conversation that I had with a sister where we were talking about her desire for change. She was sharing with me how she wants to come out of her comfort zone, to evolve and emerge, and there’s something that she said that stood out for me. It pricked up my ears.
She said something along the lines of,
“Change is really hard and it takes a long time; and even if I change, I will go back to my old ways really quickly and it won’t last.”
Now obviously, this pricked my ears and caught my attention because I could hear something she couldn’t hear herself—I could hear her beliefs that she was holding that were only perpetuating the decisions that she was making. The two beliefs she’s holding are:
- She can’t change — it won’t be easy and it will be really, really difficult.
- She’s only going to revert back — she will step forward and then step backward.
The problem with these beliefs is that they go on to lead onto limiting decisions she’s going to make; and these limiting decisions will only reinforce the limiting beliefs she holds, and it will be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You may be sitting there wondering ‘oh my goodness, that sounds like me. I have these things that I say about myself, and to myself that hold me back’. These are limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs always perpetuate limiting decisions.
Stuff even as simple as ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not worthy of love’, ’all men are useless’ — these are beliefs that limit us in some way. They limit the choices that we make and the actions we take, and can perpetuate the inaction that we take, too.
It’s important for us to be able to identify limiting decisions and limiting beliefs because they are the key and core to a lot of the struggles we may be facing, and a lot of the conflicts we may be experiencing. Through these limiting beliefs we have, we make decisions that don’t necessarily align with what we actually want; but they keep us in our comfort zone and that then leaves us in a place of stagnation.
This topic is so very important that I have included it in a course that’s starting on 24th September: ‘Discover Yourself with LaYinka’.
The premise behind this course is for you to be able to lift the hood of your mind and understand how you are wired. What is going on behind the decisions that you are making, the actions or the inaction that you’re taking, the choices that you’re making for yourself and others, the speech that you have, and the behaviour that you’re enacting.
I want you to understand the behind-the-scenes work — what’s going on underneath it all — because with this knowledge, you will be empowered to make choices that are more in line with what you truly want, and in line with the woman that you can truly become.
This course is an 8-week course with a weekly 1.5-hour live class recorded for you to re-watch at your convenience. This is so you can study, learn and grow in an incremental manner without overwhelm as we know that long courses, especially online courses, can be quite overwhelming and I wanted to eliminate that.
If you’d like to learn how to craft new, empowering beliefs that will catapult you to a place of growth and collapse those limiting beliefs that are keeping you stagnant and stuck, join the course.
We get started on the 24th of September, inshaAllah. Join us if you’re interested and ready.
If anything about this post where I talk about limiting beliefs and limiting decisions has sparked something in you, get into the comments below. I am all ears and eyes for you.