I am someone who’s been in the growth and personal development game for a long time.
If you’re like me and you’ve been on a continual journey to improve yourself, work on yourself, and take steps to becoming a better version of yourself, I’m sure you’ll agree that when you’re on the journey, you want everyone around you to get on the journey, too.
Because when you start to see and feel improvements in your life, and see and feel improvements in yourself, you want to bring everyone on that train with you — your friends and family.
There’s this zeal, passion, and desire for everyone to go on a growth journey that can lead us to a particularly dangerous hole, and that hole is trying to assume responsibility for other people’s growth.
I can personally tell you that in my family, whether it’s my husband, my children, or my siblings, I’ve been one to tell them,
“You know guys, do this…”
“Why don’t you do this…”
“Why don’t you consider that…”
Most of the time, they’re receptive. But I’ve seen that when I’m pushy, or forceful, the barriers go up, and people push back, because at the end of the day, everyone’s growth and personal development journey is unique to them — what we may be seeing or feeling in our lives, may not be what someone else will be feeling and seeing in theirs.
And so when we are in the space of growing, developing, and improving, we have to be really careful that we assume full responsibility of our own growth; full responsibility of our own change; full responsibility of our own personal development.
We have to be careful not to take it upon ourselves to feel like we are responsible, or we have to help this person, or be saviours. We have to really, really, be careful. This is key because I’ve found that resentment can brew when you’re pushy.
When you’re pushy and forceful with them, they can push back and resent you, because it comes across as,
“I’m better than you.”
“I’m working on myself, and why aren’t you?”
And people don’t like to feel inferior — we don’t like to feel inferior.
So as you’re on your own personal journey, and your own growth journey, I want you to recognise that other people will be on theirs, and it may look and feel different to yours, and that’s okay.
At the end of the day, we are all individuals, right? None of us are exactly the same; we’re all individually unique.
You only have control over your growth. Yes, you can help someone out; you can be their support system; you can be an accountability buddy — if they ask that of you — but to force and push yourself onto someone, and deem them inferior to you, that’s something you have to be careful of because you’re going to lead that person to go in the opposite direction.
That’s my gem and nugget of wisdom that I wanted to share with you today, my lovely.
Do you have this issue where you’re faced with the barriers of people around you who you want to go on a growth journey, too? Leave a comment on the Friday Feeler page, and we can talk about this.
I look forward to being in your inbox again next week, inshaAllah.