You may have read that title, and thought, ‘Astaghfirullah. How can LaYinka use the word ‘dread’ next to the word ‘Ramadan’. I mean, Ramadan is a blessed month; a month that Allah has decreed we’ll be fasting; a month we say is the month we will get closer to Allah. And LaYinka’s used the word ‘dread’ next to that word?’
The reality is, as Ramadan rolls in, and as the posts on social media, and the WhatsApp messages are flying out about all the things we need to do as we prepare for Ramadan, there are people who feel a sense of dread.
Maybe it’s in the pit of their stomach, in their chests, or in their heads. There’s that heavy feeling of dread that’s linked to the feeling of ‘failure’ during Ramadan. So they feel things like:
— This is going to be another failed Ramadan. What am I going to do?
— Is it going to be better than last Ramadan?
I’ve got all these things on my plate — how the hell am I going to make it work?
— How am I going to get my ibadah done?
— How am I going to increase in ibadah when I feel overwhelmed as it is?
— How am I going to fit it in with my studies and my work?
This is a reality of so many people, and is a reality that, frankly, we don’t talk about because of shame. It’s shameful to talk about feeling dread and feeling bad about the blessed month of Ramadan.
So what do people do instead? They end up putting off thinking about Ramadan. They try to bury their heads in the sand, thinking, ‘If I don’t think about it, it’s not going to be so bad. I’ll be okay, and I’ll probably survive the month.’
For others, it isn’t spoken about because it leads them to feeling that they’re not good enough, because who feels dread about Ramadan? We’re not supposed to, right?
So I want to bring this topic to my Friday Feeler because it’s real.
It’s time for us to get real and face the facts that some of us do feel dread, and some of us do struggle. Maybe you do, or maybe you know someone who does, but it’s a reality — some people feel a sense of shame and dread as we enter the blessed month.
If you’re one of those people, or you know someone who is, what can you do?
1 – Get curious.
The first thing I’d say is to get curious about that dread.
What is it exactly that you’re feeling?
What’s the label you’d give it?
What lets you know that you have that particular feeling?
Get curious about it, lean into it, and actually bring it to life for yourself.
2 – Understand its purpose.
Ask yourself: For what purpose do you feel that feeling?
It’s very likely that you might feel that feeling because you want a better Ramadan, right? So you’ve got this feeling, and you’re like ‘Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God’, and you feel shame as a result of this dread. But if we peel away the layers, the purpose of that feeling is really because you want a better Ramadan.
So it’s really because you don’t want a failed Ramadan again, and you’re scared that there’s going to be something in the way that’s going to make it a flop, and you know what? I want for you to have a better Ramadan, too.
That’s why I’m inviting you to join ‘Evolve During Ramadan’, a 4-week online course where we go on an exploration so that you have a strong foundation for Ramadan.
It’s not your bog-standard preparing for Ramadan course, so I’m not going to tell you to get some checklists, or to do this, or to prepare the meals, because you know all those things.
What we don’t know is the inner dimensional preparation that’s necessary for Ramadan.
How we can get ready internally for Ramadan? Because that internal woman is indicative of how you’ll show up externally, and that’s what you want to start focusing on.
So if you’re ready to rid yourself of Ramadan dread this year, join us. It’d be an honour to take you on an epic exploration of redefining what Ramadan is, leveraging your past Ramadans, deciding what your internal journey will be, and connecting with Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, before, during, and after the blessed month.
Simply go to layinkasanni.com/ramadan-course/. We’re waiting to embrace you into the inner circle of the course, inshaAllah.
Have a wonderful weekend, my lovely, and I look forward to being in your inbox again next week, inshaAllah. Until then.
When it comes to preparing for Ramadan, most people start getting checklists ready, dusting off their Qur’an, and finding ways to do more during the blessed month.
There’s a less stressful way to maximise the benefits and blessings of Ramadan.