Eid Mubaaaaaaarak, my lovely!
I pray that you had a fantabulous Eid and really enjoyed your time with those around you and those you love. I also hope that you didn’t overeat! I know it’s kinda weird to be able to eat in the daytime, right? Sometimes, our stomach goes haywire because it’s like, “Yo, this ain’t the time to eat.” But whatever you did and however you celebrated, I pray that it was beautiful.
We’re here, on the other side of Ramadan, alhamdulillah. Our Lord gave us the opportunity to see the month all the way through. I just wanted to stop by with today’s Friday Feeler episode with some key lessons that I got from the blessed month.
Lesson #1: Ramadan is a marathon, not a sprint
This is such a key lesson for us to take because we see Ramadan is 30 days at most, so there’s limited time, right?
Before Ramadan, you’re literally at the start line and the finish line is on Eid day. But, Ramadan’s set to be a prelude to what’s meant to come after. It’s not just meant to be a short, sharp sprint, and once you get to the finish line, that’s it — you go about your business, go back to life and how it was pre-Ramadan.
The essence of Ramadan is it’s meant to be a time where we’re building and working on muscles we can maintain for the rest of the year. It’s more about the long game, not just the 30 days. So, as you’re thinking about what you may have gained from the blessed month — and let me tell you, there are things that you have gained. I keep hearing things from people who say, “You know, my Ramadan was lackluster and a bit of a flop.”
Okay, but even in your perceived ‘failure’, you’ve been gifted with lessons and learnings that you can use to positively influence your life after Ramadan.
So, even if it wasn’t as great as an experience you’d hoped that it would be, take the lesson. What did you learn from it? Even in your perceived failure, there are gems you can use to take you through the long game that Ramadan came and set out to be.
Lesson #2: Ramadan exposes you
It exposes your truth: How close or distant you are or were to Allah. Now, that might sounds like a bit of a downer, like, “LaYinka, do I really wanna be exposed, though?”
Yeah. You really do.
Because in being able to really see ourselves, we can say, “Okay, this is my mess.” And the beautiful thing about having this mess? There are things to fix.
When I do things like the wheel of life, or examine areas of my life and see that I’m flopping in some areas — which I do, because I’m a human being like you — it’s not about cutting myself down, it’s about saying, “Okay, alhamdulillah. We’ve got a new task to work on and a new area to work on. We’ve got some work to do.”
Because you know what, if we ain’t growin’, what we doin’?
If we ain’t growing, we’re dying, my love.
Okay, you look at any plant, if it isn’t growing — in any shape of form, regardless of how slow or rapid that growth is — it’s deteriorating, to the point that you need to chuck it out. This is the case for us.
If there are no things to work on, there’s no growth. If everything’s 10/10, then what’s there to work on? How are we meant to improve? I mean, the whole concept of excellence is having something to work towards, right? So, the beauty of Ramadan and the lesson I got from it is: It exposes me and gives me the opportunity for change to fix up, basically.
Lesson #3: Ramadan is a massive proof of what you’re capable of
For reals. I mean, you spent hours abstaining from food, drink and sexual desires (for y’all married ones) and you tell me you can’t achieve anything?
Stop that mess, girl. Stop that mess.
Food and drink are basic human needs, and you abstained from it. You probably found it easy, in most cases, to stay away from food and drink. You didn’t even think about it, right? And you’re telling me that your goals that you have are unachievable.
Look: Ramadan is the best way to prove to you that you’re more than capable of being the woman you want to be; achieving the things that you want to achieve, feeling the way you want to feel, seeing what you wanna see in your life, having what you wanna have… You. Are. More. Than. Capable.
And if you want to discount that, just look at how you got through the blessed month, and it was possible for those of you who were fasting. And if you weren’t fasting and you had a reason for not fasting, then that was a concession that Allah had given you. Take the concession. I see people who lamented about their inability to fast, and I say, “Flip the script.”
Praise Allah for the mercy and the ability to take care of yourself, rather than put your body through stressors that would actually make your health deteriorate. That’s not the purpose of Ramadan. So, if you found yourself being unable to resonate with the fact that Ramadan is a proof of what you’re capable of, look beyond the fasting and find what you’re capable of doing outside of actually abstaining from food and drink. It still applies.
You’re still capable of doing things.
What things were you able to achieve in Ramadan — that you told yourself you couldn’t do, it’s too difficult or whatever story you kinda make up about why things are impossible?
Then think: “Wait, if I can do it in Ramadan, I can do it any time of the year.”
Lesson #4: Ramadan is also a proof of what’s possible in a short period of time
Some things changed in your life. Some things. At least one thing changed in your life.
If that meant, getting up for Fajr — if prior to Ramadan, you weren’t getting up for Fajr on time, and then all of a sudden you were doing that when Ramadan came — what does that prove to you, sis?
That proves that when you put your mind to something, you can do it.
If you were able to actually pick up the Qur’an in the blessed month of Ramadan, but outside of Ramadan you weren’t doing that, that just proves to you that you’ve got the ability to do it, if you want to.
So, it’s a perfect reinforcement of anything we put our mind to and want to do, we are capable of doing it.
Let me write that again for you, sis.
Anything you put your mind to and want to do: You. Can. Do. It.
I pray that these four lessons were useful for you and you can take benefit from them.
I also encourage you to seek what four lessons you gained from the month of Ramadan and feel free to comment below.