Today’s post comes from a really deep place. I had a meeting with one of my 1:1 clients, and we were reviewing her past two months of us working together.
It was amazing for her to see the numbers jump from the place she’d started at, and for those of you who aren’t familiar with how I work, I usually start my 1:1 clients with the slices of life, where we grade eight slices of their life in order to have a snapshot of the ‘before’.
So when we got to grading where she currently is, she took a moment to recognise that she had improved in her numbers, then stopped, looked at me, and said, “LaYinka, what keeps you going?”
I stopped, and I smiled. Then I inhaled deeply, and said, “Because remaining still isn’t an option.” That’s the truth for me.
Remaining still isn’t an option because I’ve been there, and I went on to narrate how I’ve been through so many different experiences in my 30+ years of life, and how I could’ve become a victim to them.
I could say it’s because such-and-such happened, or so-and-so did this to me — that’s why I will be here, and I will remain here for the rest of my life, as I am, and I’ve got every right and reason to. But where would that attitude have got me?
There’s a difference between being a victim and a victor — being someone who allows life to happen to them, or being someone who allows life to happen, and makes life happen.
So if you sit there being a victim who allows life to happen to them, then you don’t go anywhere. All you ever do is point fingers at everyone else: He, she, her, that, this, the weather — everything is wrong or has done you wrong, and that’s why your life is the way it is.
What if you flipped the script, decided to take control, take responsibility for what you have done and can do, and see what can happen?
I’ve been victim of sexual abuse as a 5-year old child — do I not have a right to be a victim, just wallow, and allow that to define me? I do.
Do I want it to? Absolutely not.
And so the question she asked touched me because she must see that I’m always wanting to move forward, but really, it helped me reconnect with my ultimate goal, and I said, “If I don’t keep striving and working towards wanting to be the best version of myself that I can be, with the resources I have, how will I then be granted the honour to see the face of Allah on Yawmul Qiyamah?” That’s my ultimate goal.
If I wallow, decide to be a victim, and let life happen to me, how will I get up and strive for the pleasure of His face? I won’t.
And so my heart is reaching out to you, my dear lovely, as you’re reading this.
I want you to make a choice: To be a woman who makes life happen, who is a victor, who rises up from the dust of all the happenings in her life, and decides to be the woman who gets up.
Remaining beaten down is a choice.
Remaining broken is a choice.
Remaining stuck, my love, is a choice that you’re making, and it’s hurting you.
So today, make a promise to yourself: You’re going to rise, you’re going to be victorious against your past, and you’re going to be a woman who finally starts to make life happen.
I hope today’s post touched you as much as it has touched me to share, and I really pray that you find that strength and courage to rise, to stand tall, and to be the woman who makes life happen, bithnillah.